Is isolation always a bad thing – or are some people simply happy being alone? What can we learn from them?
Loneliness can be felt at any stage in life. The experience is personal to each individual, often feeling daunting at times. However, feeling lonely is not the same as being alone.
You can embrace isolation without feeling lonely, just as you can feel lonely even when surrounded by people. But society has shifted increasingly towards people living and functioning solo. In 2023, the Office of National Statistics reported that 8.4 million people are living alone in the UK, an 8% increase on 2013 figures. But what are the implications of this long-term?
The international phenomenon of Covid-19 completely shifted the way our society works by reducing in-person socialising and significantly normalising online interactions. As a society we were headed that way already, but global lockdowns meant this process was accelerated.
So, are people today becoming lonelier – or have we simply entered a new way of living? And if so, what does that look like for people who do, or people who don’t want to be alone?
Remote working
There has been a dramatic increase in remote working. A 2022 survey revealed that 98% of respondents would like to work remotely, at least some of the time, for the rest of their careers.
Thanks to technology, it is common to communicate by video calls, such as Teams and Zoom for work, or to have casual chats with family and friends on FaceTime or WhatsApp. Most people have access to a device that allows them to go online quickly, making it easy to communicate without leaving the house.
Social media
The rise of social networking has completely changed how we interact with each other. A June 2023 survey found that 49% of UK citizens aged 30-49 use social networks, while 28% are aged 50-64, and the remaining 23 percent are aged 18-29.
Social media apps such as Facebook, Reddit and Instagram have increased social and digital inclusion to a mature generation, helping them stay connected to family and friends while opening a network of people worldwide with similar interests and outlooks on life.
But despite the benefits of social media, it can isolate us, even in live company. How many times have you seen people in restaurants or bars, head down, staring into their phones?
You're not alone in being alone
Living alone and being single is on the rise, making a dramatic shift in modern lifestyles.
By 2039, one in seven people in the UK could be living alone, according to the Office for National Statistics. Of the 8.4 million people currently living alone in the UK, half are aged 65 and over.
Being single is a big deal in the UK. As of 2022, more than 28.9 million people were listed as single in England and Wales. Although it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact number of singles across the UK, reports indicate this is only set to rise.
But are people happily single? In a survey of 3,000 adults aged 20 to 96, many reported being satisfied with living alone. People over the age of 40 in particular reported that they were happy with their single lifestyle. Whether this will still be true as they get older remains to be seen.
How to enjoy being alone
While it can seem like a huge challenge, loneliness can be tackled. If you have no choice but to spend a lot of time alone, here are some approaches to help you enjoy this period in your life, potentially transforming it into a positive experience:
Discover who you are again
There are many reasons why people are alone, such as divorce, the loss of a loved one or children leaving home. But this can be an opportunity to engage in self-reflection. Consider using this time to identify your own thoughts and desires, which may have become buried over time. There may be grief, but there is a chance to explore who you are again.
Embrace your freedom and independence
Being on your own means you can cherish your independence and freedom. This is a time where you’re not committed to meeting other people’s desires or needs, only your own. For example, you can be empowered to focus on your own goals, make time for hobbies and self-care, and go places you want to go at a time of your choosing.
Make the time for solo travel
While it may not be for everyone, solo travelling can be therapeutic and deeply empowering. You will get to do the activities you want to do, eat where you want to eat and try things you want to try, without worrying about what others want.
Travel in a likeminded group
If you’re not keen to travel solo, there are plenty of companies that offer group tours, where you can travel with likeminded people of a similar age. Apart from avoiding single supplements, it’s a great way to make new friends and connections.
Socialising with new people
If travelling is not for you but you want to make friends, that’s okay. Joining local community centres or online groups that are relevant to your interest, such as those on Facebook, can help you make new friends and connections. Social media is a great way to meet new people, as well as staying in touch with old friends and rekindling relationships that might have fallen by the wayside over the years.
Spotting other people’s loneliness
Loneliness can be experienced by anyone, but it’s not always obvious if someone is feeling it – even if you’re the one who is lonely. Once loneliness sets in, it can be a downward spiral, with the person isolating and pretending everything is fine. This is why sharing time and energy supports others, as well as yourself. Keeping an eye out for other people’s loneliness, such as family members, neighbours, work colleagues or friends, can help them overcome these feelings. Inviting people for a coffee, a movie or a walk can make them feel included and less isolated. Even if they decline, the gesture will be appreciated. And if they agree, it’s a win-win.
The takeaway
By being there for yourself and overcoming loneliness, you can build emotional resilience and learn to cope with difficult situations. Reaching out to others not only alleviates your loneliness, it can help them too.
Although it seems like we are isolating ourselves, thanks to societal changes and the widespread technology, there is greater acceptance of living alone and being single, particularly with increasing opportunities to meet people through online communities. For many people, this is a relief, but not everyone is happy being solo.
Where loneliness can be seen as a negative experience for some, it can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. Instead of fearing loneliness, we can transform it into an opportunity to reconnect with ourselves or even a way to reach out to other people.
